Most women like receiving oral sex. The reason that it’s so popular is that women need direct stimulation of the clitoris - whether by a tongue, finger or another object - to orgasm, rather than penetrative sex.
Not surprisingly, many women list cunnilingus as their top sexual activity.
So it’s amusing to think that in some U.S. states, oral sex is illegal between consenting married adults, even in the privacy of their own homes.
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Photo: Brentmail /deviantart
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What's the appeal?
What women enjoy in cunnilingus varies widely. Some women like an indirect approach to their clitoris while others like firm, direct stimulation. This may depend on how aroused she is and what she enjoys today (a little gentle action, for instance) she may want differently another day (faster, stronger movement, perhaps).
What might put women off oral sex
Some women are squeamish about their partner going down on them. They worry that their smell is unpleasant, and they may be shy about their partner seeing their genitals up close and personal. But a woman’s intimate scent is actually not unpleasant. Moreover, it is designed to be highly arousing for men.
If a woman has a vaginal infection, this might have a strong odour like a fishy smell, which can easily be treated with medicine. And certain things we eat that negatively affect our personal odour, like garlic, should be avoided before oral sex.

Photo: Chad Miller / Creative Commons |
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Washing first enhances pleasure
Naturally, it’s always good manners to bath before sex to remove the day’s sweat and build up of secretions, thereby reducing any strong odours. Women should use a mild soap to wash the external part of the vagina, in and around the labia. However, soap should never be used inside the vagina as this can upset the delicate pH balance and lead to an infection.
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As the vagina is designed to self-clean, internal washing with soap is unnecessary. Taking a bath or shower together can become part of foreplay, and this in itself also provides a great venue for sex.
Some people enjoy using products that introduce different smells and flavours into lovemaking to mask the body’s tastes and scents, such as flavoured lubricants, condoms and dental dams. Sugary foods should not be placed in the vagina, though, as these can lead to an infection.
A note for women…
If you are on the receiving end, consider trimming or waxing your pubic hair, especially around the centre of the tongue action – your clitoris. It makes it easier for your partner to enjoy stimulating you without choking on your hair (ever tried to dislodge a pubic hair from the back of your throat?!).
How to give a woman great oral sex
Probably the two most important bits of advice are the following:
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Don’t dive straight in. A slow, teasing approach using lots of foreplay and building up to a crescendo is fantastic.
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Women require ongoing, steady stimulation to bring them to orgasm. This means that the giver needs to be patient and not rush things.
Before you start, if you’d like to know what kind of tongue action your partner loves, you could ask her to give you a demonstration on your hand. Many women enjoy their partner using the whole flat tongue rather than just the tip.
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