Sex toys - what they are and how to use them - 2

Harnesses
Also known as a jock strap, a harness is a series of straps made of leather, nylon or similar material that is strapped around the groin area and fitted with a dildo. One-strap harnesses are preferred by women and allow them to penetrate a partner with the dildo, worn like a penis. Dildos with flared bases fit into most harnesses. Some harnesses have extra pockets for smaller vibrators for clit stimulation for the wearer and/or receiver, or to hold another dildo for the wearer. Some men use them to surprise their women partners with a larger model than their own. Two-strap harnesses that resemble jock straps are popular with gay men.

Duotone balls / Ben wa balls / Chinese balls / ming balls
Ben wa balls are two unconnected balls (usually the size of marbles but they do come in much bigger sizes) which are inserted and then provide stimulation during gentle exercise like walking. Whether or not they have much effect is debatable, though. A better bet is duotone balls, which are two hollow spheres about one-and-a-half inches in diameter with heavy ball bearings that roll around inside them. The balls are connected by a cord. Once inserted they create a pleasant vibration when you walk or move. You can also get duotone vibrating balls, which are connected by cord to a variable speed control. Coated in a soft material for easy insertion, the balls can be used for G-spot stimulation and Kegel exercises.

Butt plugs
Also known as anal plugs, butt plugs are short dildos designed especially for anal use. They are often diamond shaped so that they stay inside once inserted – as the widest part of the plug goes in past the sphincter muscles, the anal sphincter grips around the neck of the plug, holding it in. Crucially, butt plugs have a flared base to prevent them from getting lost up the rectum. Many people enjoy the sensation of the anus contracting around butt plugs or dildos, or contracting and releasing as a plug with a series of ridges is inserted. Once inserted, leave the butt plug in while you focus on other pleasure zones. Remove gently when finished. The beginner may prefer to start with a small and soft butt plug and graduate to something bigger and firmer. They are made of the same materials as vibrators, some of which are easy to clean such as vinyl and silicone, while rubber, jelly rubber and cyberskin are more difficult to keep clean.

Anal beads
Anal beads are a series of balls, ranging from marble size to softball size, strung together and inserted gently into the anus one by one. Pleasure is derived from the feeling of the anus opening and closing around each one as they are inserted, or from pulling them out carefully just before or during orgasm to intensify the sensation. Anal beads may be made of hard plastic and if they have any rough seams, these can be filed down with a nail file to make them smoother (and safer) and cleaning easier. Alternatively, they may be made of rubber or jelly rubber, which has no rough edges but is often porous so if you intend using them more than once, it is a good idea to use a condom over them (tie the condom’s open end around the last bead). Silicone anal beads are smoother and can be sterilised by boiling, but they tend to be more expensive.

Penis rings
Penis rings or cock rings are used to help maintain a stronger erection for a longer length of time. Made of leather, stretchy rubber, cyberskin or metal, the ring is placed around the balls and penis when flaccid or semi-erect. It should be sufficiently tight enough to trap blood in the penis. Alternatively, it can be placed around the base of the penis (you might want to shave your pubic hair so it doesn’t catch). Some sage advice – be careful not to attach a ring too tightly and make sure it allows for quick release (e.g. Velcro) if needed. Don’t leave a ring on for longer than 20 minutes, and take it off if it hurts. And it goes without saying – don’t use one if you are inebriated and could pass out or fall asleep before taking it off. Rings also make the penis more sensitive and thus they can make the wearer orgasm more quickly. Some rings are vibrating and they may have a clit stimulator or vibrating anal plug attachments. Rings with texture can be placed around other objects such as dildos for extra stimulation. Rings made of rubber are cheap and flexible but are also porous and difficult to sterilise. Metal rings can be sterilised but are difficult to get off in a hurry and may cut blood circulation if too tight, which is the last thing you want to do. If this happens, use ice to quickly reduce penis size and slip the ring off, but if this doesn’t work, head for your nearest hospital casualty department.

Next: masturbation sleeves, nipple clamps, how and why vibrators were invented.

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The G-spot: how to find it, how to stimulate it
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