Photo: Shazeen Samad / Creative Commons
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Women want more of this...
French kissing, snogging, tonguing, tickling the tonsils…whatever you term of choice, this highly intimate act is one of the hottest and most seductive preludes to sex.
It is also arguably the most guaranteed way to sexually arouse a woman – if you’re good at it, of course. So why does it remain the most overlooked part of foreplay for long-term couples?
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Kissing is one of the simplest techniques for exciting a woman and along with oral sex, is the intimate act that most women want more of during sex. Women in long term relationships often complain that they don’t feel like sex with their partner any more and they can’t quite put their finger on why, as some of our readers have pointed out:
When my husband wants to have sex with me I normally don’t want to. I don’t know why I lack interest as he makes love to me in a very enjoyable way. What could be causing this lack of interest?
My partner and I are living together. Sex was amazing in the beginning but it now seems to have reduced from twice a day to twice a week. He doesn’t like kissing and kissing arouses me. |
When you ask women if their long-term partners kiss them deeply and intimately – in or out the bedroom – nine times out of ten they’re not getting any of this favourite intimate activity. But when they do, the sparks usually fly:
I met a guy in a night club and we danced for hours. When it was time to go, he kissed me goodbye. His lips were soft and he kissed very gently and teasingly. It was so hot, I’ve never forgotten. |
Kissing more = sex more often
For a woman, a sexy snog is often stimulating enough to get her interested in having sex…or at least exploring this option. |
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Photo: Bryan Brennaman / Creative Commons
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So it’s hardly surprising that one of the most frequent requests we get from women wanting to boost their flagging arousal levels is how to get their partner to kiss them passionately.
How do I get my man to kiss me as I enjoy kissing while making love? |
And this doesn’t mean a quick ‘hello’ peck on the cheek. It means the ten-minute-long-or-more kiss with locked lips, probing tongues and hot ‘n heavy breathing. Why is this such a sought-after sexual activity for women? It’s really simple.
Why kissing is erotic
There is an ancient Indian belief that a woman’s upper lip is connected to her clitoris. So it’s no wonder that kissing produces such delicious sensations! It makes our knees go weak, our heart race and our groin ache. Our mouth, lips and tongue are packed with nerve endings. When we become aroused, including from kissing, endorphins are released into our bloodstream and this creates a feeling of intense pleasure, while blocking pain receptors.
Photo: MetroPalma / Creative Commons
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Our main erogenous zones are all linked to one another, which is why kissing causes a warm flooding, tingling sensation in a woman’s breast, womb and genitals simultaneously. Our lips are an erotic point. Kiss your partner deeply and passionately while stimulating other erotic points on their body, and it will double or treble the build up of heat and desire, compared to stimulating only one point at a time.
How to kiss sensuously
Kissing is such an individual thing that there are no real rules, except that it’s not terribly sexy to leave a trail of slimey saliva all over your partner’s face. |
If you really want to know what your partner enjoys, ask how they like to be kissed.
Some great tips to try
Firstly, check if your breath is fresh as halitosis is a huge turnoff. Garlic on the breath apparently turns off one in three potential kissing partners while smoking turns off one in four. Brush twice a day and floss your teeth daily to keep them in good condition.
Really light kisses can be very sexy. Start softly with your lips closed. Plant soft kisses on your partner’s lips, across their face, down their neck. Graze each other’s lips as an intimate tease, or lick your partner’s lower lip with the tip of your tongue and blow on it to contrast hot with a cool tingling sensation. Contrast soft, gentle kisses with harder, passionate ones.
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